Let God Heal your Heart.

Hey Ladies,

I hope y'all been alright.

I want to start this off with a bit of transperency by saying: I am not okay. I had been attempting to cope with some very hard truths recently. And let me tell you, it didn't get easier. Never did I ever think that while God was getting ready to bless me, he was also revealing the depth of my faith. He was stretching me. He was moving me and planting seeds. He‘s still is doing those things today.

This whole situation had really exposed some gut-wrenchingly, messy dynamics that have been in my life for a long time. It's as if I was being sucker-punched, just trying to come up for air. But the air felt sticky and dirty like after it rains. Except in my case, the rain hadn't slowed down. In fact, it rained harder.

I've spent the last two-ish or so weeks, walking around with this heaviness in my heart, feeling sick to my stomach, over the thought of feeling like maybe I deserved all the chaos that came with being not only distracted, but disobedient both in my faith and in my calling. Let's face it, I have been feeling disconnected in my pursuit for God. I was doing all the right things: studying my Bible, participating in worship, engaging in fellowship, yet never did it feel enough. Still, in my heart, I knew that it shouldn't be that way. But God wants to transform your heart. He wants to heal your heart, the same way he's healing mine.

There's this song "Come Again" by Elevation Worship x Maverick City, that I love which describes that feeling perfectly. There's a particular part of the song that really registered with me.

The song goes a little further and says this:

More than anything, this song is more than a confession, it's a declaration. You're basically acknowledging to God that you are desperate for Him. If I can be honest, I don't want to be that type of Christian. I don't want to know or love Jesus in a way that feels like I always have to be at my breaking point to call on Him because I know He's going to be there. I want to love Jesus at my fullest capacity. I want to choose to love Jesus when I am my happiest, my most broken, when I'm thankful, when I'm full of energy, when I am completely confused, even when I'm waiting and hopeful. It's kinda like the woman of 12 years who had the issue of blood in Matthew 9, who goes and says, "If I could just touch his garment, I will be made whole." Or the Israelites who were confronted by God in Hosea 5. Both of these stories are so different in many ways, but one thing remained true. They both needed God to heal and comfort them whether they verbalized it or not.

The Lord is close to the broken-hearted, he comforts those who are crushed in spirit. Pslams 34:18

Just like the woman with the issue of blood, we can find ourselves getting caught up in the rush of a situation, believing it's an end-all-be-all, but God is trying to paint to a different picture. It's not that the picture you saw was wrong, but it wasn't the full picture of what God is trying to show you. If the woman allowed for her situation to limit her faith, she would have never gotten her healing. If the woman allowed what she felt to dictate what she knew was hers for the taking, she would've never met Jesus when she did.

Let this serve as a reminder: God is waiting on you to go to Him. There's no more time to keep walking or tiptoeing around what you need to do. You need to start running towards God, and away from things that aren't Him. You might not necessarily need healing in this moment, but you need compassion. You need safety. You need truth. You need godly affirmation. You need grace. You need Jesus, above all else. In all things, always.

Let this be the day, you choose to step into the identity of who God has called you to be. Let this be the day you finally stop playing small, and learn to take up space. Let this be the day you decide to ask for what you want. Let this be the day you go for what you want. My hope with this blog post is you finally choose more, but most importantly you choose Jesus. He's

the best, most important invest you can make in your life thus far.

Let's go into the week with a heart that is fully postured towards God. He has certain things that He needs to work on in you. He has certain things he wants to give you. Every good and perfect gift comes from above, but sometimes the gift comes in the form of a release. If you are in Christ, you are a new creation; the old things have passed away, and the new has come! He wants to affirm your weakness in His strength. He wants to take you from glory to glory through Him. He can't do that if you're still fighting to keep that narrative that is keeping you from experiencing him in his fullness.